Hamartano

HAMARTANO (Sin): 1) to be without a share in
2) to miss the mark
3) to err, be mistaken
4) to miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honour, to do or go wrong
5) to wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin

And sitting in a classroom I have heard it put this way, "Sin is any thought, deed, word, or attitude that goes against the will of God."

It just so turns out that I am a sinner and well I hate to break it to anyone, but according to Romans 3:23 ("For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God") you are too!

You might be thinking, "Amanda, why start a post with such a downer?"

Good question. I have an answer.

I believe that the root of what caused my ache and loneliness at the time of my self realization is sin. Not my own sin, though I have plenty of that to go around, but my birth mother's sin. (Right now I wish I was doing this by way of video.) Let's face it, I do believe that giving birth to a child and not parenting them is "to be w/o a share in, missing the mark, mistaken, gone wrong, to wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin." In a perfect world, I would have been parented by my birth parents, but in reality we live in a world that is broken by sin and all are effected one way or another. And in the scheme of things the effects of sin result in separation. Also, I don't necessarily believe that the decision to make an adoption plan was the sin itself, but the decisions that lead up to it. kwim?

My birth mother was without a doubt broken and hurt by some sort of sin that was also done to her or by her. Sin tends to beget sin.

Nonetheless, the separation between parent and child occurred and now I am willing to bet that each of us are, at some point or another, feeling and dealing with the effects of it. I am not going to even pretend like I remotely know what she felt or went through, thus I am going to stick to myself.

AAAAAhhhhhh!!! There is so much to move onto from here that I am yearning to let out of me, but every I can get it to fit in this single post without it becoming a book. So, as this maybe an abrupt end, it is what it is..... Stay tuned this will definitely be continued!